Active listening

  • Maintain the bond
  • Dissolve the bond
  • Repair the bond
  • Calm
  • Deconstruct (oneself)
  • Empower
  • Take care
  • Meet
  • Think
  • Talk

Goals:

Active listening involves listening intentionally, attentively and without judgment. It's all about listening to understand, not to respond. It's an essential and highly effective communication technique, but it's sometimes difficult to know exactly how to put it into practice. This tool provides guidelines for better understanding and application of this principle.

Participants:

Variable

Duration:

Au besoin

Required equipment:

None

Space requierment:

Any place when one can speak and be listened to without being interrupted

Requirements:

Aucun

Preparation

The facilitator reads and familiarizes herself with the protocol, then applies it in a real-life situation.

Active listening guidelines

  • We may have a stereotypical idea of what a listening attitude is: a quiet body turned towards the person, eye contact, gestures or small words of listening. However, for some of us, it may be easier to listen and concentrate while on the move (suggest taking a walk), looking away, keeping our hands busy, etc. If we know we have an atypical listening attitude, it can be useful to make this clear beforehand, to create a climate of trust and reassure the listener that he or she is the focus of our attention. On the other hand, if you notice an atypical listening attitude, it's best not to assume that the other person isn't listening, and to discuss it if necessary.

  • Give your full attention to the person you are listening to.

  • Don't interrupt the speaker.

  • If necessary, ask for clarification or ask questions.

  • If necessary, rephrase what has been said and allow the listener to correct any misunderstandings.

  • Do not judge what is being said.

  • Don't give advice.

  • Leave room for silences and pauses. It can be difficult for the speaker to express him/herself and to formulate his/her thoughts, especially if the situation is emotionally charged; silence can allow things to settle.

  • Take the time to reflect on what is being said and make sure you have understood the person you are listening to.

  • Once the person has had a chance to say everything they needed to express, ask them what their needs are. These may take the form of comments or opinions on the situation, solutions, care, time, nothing more, etc. If possible, respond to these needs.

Notes

Offer solutions only if the person explicitly requests them. There's an instinctive tendency to want to solve problems by finding solutions, but this is a step that can come after the active listening time and must be initiated by the person speaking.

References

Active listening is a concept developed by psychologist Thomas Gordon in 1975, based on the person-centered approach of American psychologist Carl Rogers.

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